Entranced by the performances of their idols – an eclectic list longer than their neon green talons, featuring Imogen Heap, Paramore, Rob Zombie, Fightstar, Hans Zimmer, Britney and Nicki Minaj to name but a few – they wanted in on the act.
Smoke Is In My Eyes was the first song they ever wrote. “It was My Chemical Romance-inspired and the premise was that I had smokey eye make-up on and was joking that my eyes were on fire, and that’s why they were smokey,” ZAND laughs, looking back at the efforts of their 12-year-old self.
By 16, though, they were taking their craft more seriously, penning a “beautiful albeit sad” track named Platelets, written as if speaking to a girl who was dying of leukemia, and at 17 a song for their late grandad named Windows. “It [went] like, ‘All I have to do is look up at the stars from the window at my grandma’s to see him’. From there I didn’t stop writing songs...”
Aged 18, ZAND pursued a line of work that was not in the original plan.
“Sex work or modelling... that’s what I was doing before I got ‘noticed’ musically for the first time, from a YouTube cover,” they note, explaining that they were writing and releasing music on the side (under a different pseudonym) for a period.
“I was camming, selling ‘content’ on a website I won’t name and glamour modelling where there was nought glamour; I actually put myself in quite dodgy situations,” they explain. “I remember always worrying that some sort of leak of my past work would pop up and ‘hurt my image’ at the start; I was ashamed of it for a while, [but I] genuinely do not give two fucks about it [now]. Mainly because it’s happened already and my nudes have actually been leaked multiple times. Fuck it.
"If [music] wasn’t to work out, sex work is something I would probably return to,” they add. “But I would like to leave those resources to those who really need it to survive. It’s a privilege that I’m able to openly say that, and talk about it without shame, to such a big publication like yourselves.”