How do you feel now looking back on the period when you declared your authentic self to the world?
“Man, I’m still learning the lessons every day. I’m learning how unloving and loving people are. To be honest, 90 per cent of our fans have embraced me; the strangers in my life have embraced my true authentic self more than the people I grew up with.”
Did that support surprise you?
“Oh, yeah, I was ready to give up my career. Fear does that to you. Fear creates delusion; I was fooled by my own fear. But there comes a point in your life where you overcome many different fears. I’m much stronger than I was, but I still have work to do. I’m at a point in my life where I have more courage and more fearlessness than a billion fucking men.”
Your fearlessness also inspired other people. What did it mean to you to find out you helped Laura Jane Grace come out?
“I was honoured. I think I might have broken down in front of the computer; I kind of froze for two days, to be honest. I’m very empathetic and my imagination took me into the kaleidoscope of her life and the pain she must have been going through. And she was married and she has a kid, so she had a triple whammy, man; even more than me because I’m single and I don’t have children. I don’t have those lifelong commitments the way she does and as a mother I can’t imagine what she was going through, because it’s fucking hard. It’s not easy being yourself on a planet where everyone seems to be striving for conformity. It takes a lot of fucking courage to shine your light differently, because when you do, you’re fucking crucified. But she’s strong, man. She’s another warrior. Not only does she talk the talk, but she walks the walk. That’s why I fucking love her and that’s why I’ll kill for her, too. She’s a lifer for me. She could always come to me for anything, always. I don’t care if 10 fucking years pass and we haven’t spoken, I’ll be there for her.”
In coming out, your private life was made public. How hard has it been to restore the line between your public and private life?
“Private life (laughs)? In reality, there is no line for me. I don’t mind sharing my foot fetish, my ideas on sexuality or my ideas on life. I don’t care, if I can teach the world, I will. No matter how much you dig, you’re still not going to know it all. There’s so many layers to me, I don’t even know all of me.”
Do you think you ever will?
“I don’t know. I’m going to find that out. Ask me again in 30 years. I think the more you know, the less you know; the more you dig into shit, the more there is to find out. I still don’t have the answers. My only answer is very simple: to have fun and be creative.”
If you were to write a book about your life up until now what would the title be?
“Off The Cuff: How To Develop The Warrior Within – The Life And Times Of Mina Caputo. Or: How To Fearlessly Swallow The Galaxy. Or just Swallow The Galaxy! Something with that kind of energy (laughs).”
And if you had the ability to write the ending of your book ahead of time, how would you like it to finish?
“(Long pause) ‘Then she sighed, with a romantic wholeness.’”
Life Of Agony's latest album The Sound Of Scars is out now via Napalm Records
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