A producer is off his head after accidentally taking more hallucinogens than he expected. The intended monologue reader, legendary comedian George Carlin, is being a dick about what he’s been asked to do, then seizes up after taking more cocaine than is sensible. Moreso if you’re about to go on live TV across America, even if it is in the middle of the night.
One piece of key talent, John Belushi, won’t sign his contract to be on the show. Which is less pressing than the fact that he’s got pissed off at having to dress as a bee and have a shave, and has vanished. He’s also had a fight with Chevy Chase.
Upstairs, an enthusiastic and puritanical TV compliance officer is using her formidable red pen on the script, asking the meanings of terms like “golden shower” and “clam diving”. In response to her raft of suggested edits, the lead writer sets fire to the notes and informs her that “I would rather butt-fuck cancer than make these changes.”
In the corridors there is a llama that can't be fully explained, other than “it’s funnier than a donkey”. Nobody has any idea of what’s actually going in the show. A fire’s broken out, and a lighting rig has just almost killed half a dozen people.
All this and a million other problems, and Saturday Night isn’t even live yet.