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23 killer rock songs with the most weirdly random song titles
From unnecessarily long and wordy titles to phrases that just make you go, ‘Eh?!’, these bands have been particularly imaginative when it comes to naming songs…
- Words:
- Kerrang! staff
When you really think about it, the majority of song titles are kinda weird. How do you properly and correctly sum up something that you’ve poured your heart into in just a few short words, or a snappy phrase?! But there’s some bands that seemingly really go out of their way to provoke a reaction when it comes to names – whether it’s a giggle, a gasp, or just an outright, ‘What the actual fuck?!’
We were met with a huge response when we asked you guys recently about songs with the strangest titles, and it turns out that almost all of our rock and metal favourites have come up with at least one wonderful weirdo. So well done all, because your imagination here is incredibly impressive…
White Zombie – El Phantasmo And The Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama (Peter via Facebook)
Somehow still not the most bizarre song or album name Rob Zombie has ever gone for…
Dance Gavin Dance – And I Told Them I Invented Times New Roman (Dan via Facebook)
Odd thing to brag about, but sure.
Bring Me The Horizon – One Day The Only Butterflies Left Will Be In Your Chest As You March Towards Your Death (Mim via Facebook)
Title-wise, the band’s 2020 Amy Lee collab is a far cry from early tracks like Tell Slater Not To Wash His Dick or (I Used To Make Out With) Medusa.
Psychostick – This Is Not A Song, It’s A Sandwich (Jason via Facebook)
With lyrics like ‘Why aren’t you hearing the cheese / Why aren’t you feeling the ham?’ this does kinda fill you up more than you might expect…
Fall Out Boy – A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” (Barry via Facebook)
A bit weird, yep, but there are at least four other songs with longer and harder-to-say titles on 2005’s From Under The Cork Tree. Why did they do this to us?!
Biffy Clyro – There’s No Such Things As A Jaggy Snake (Robert via Facebook)
Because the Scottish titans are just as good at channelling David Attenborough as they are at writing breathtakingly brilliant alt.rock.
A Day To Remember – I’m Made Of Wax, Larry, What Are You Made Of? (Richard via Facebook)
Wait, why aren’t more songs named after quotes from 2006 Ben Stiller movie Night At The Museum?
Pink Floyd – Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict (Will via Facebook)
Yeah… thanks for that one, Roger Waters.
The Fall Of Troy – Shhh!!! If You’re Quiet I’ll Show You A Dinosaur (via Beccy via Facebook)
Now that’s an offer we really can’t refuse.
Enter Shikari – Gandhi Mate, Gandhi (Adam via Instagram)
Can also be included in any lists featuring the most bizarre lyrics ever thanks to the line, ‘Yabba dabba do one son.’ Great work, lads!
A Perfect Circle – Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of A War Drum (Neil via Facebook)
Maynard James Keenan being darkly peculiar? We’re shocked.
System Of A Down – This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Song (Krzysztof via Facebook)
Though this seems like a strange one, it can be rearranged to say This Song Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Cocaine, which makes a lot more sense given the suject matter.
The Melvins – Onions Make The Milk Taste Bad (Travis via Facebook)
Not a recipe we’ve sampled in all honesty, but we’re assuming this is reasonably solid advice.
The Locust – Gluing Carpet To Your Genitals Does Not Make You A Cantaloupe (Alberico via Facebook)
Again with the good advice! And hopefully a lesson that wasn’t learned from personal experience…
Primus – Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver (Harry via Facebook)
While this name was inspired by a fishing trip in which Les Claypool had the shit scared out of him by an actual beaver, it doesn’t make it any less silly to say this out loud…
Green Day – 409 In Your Coffeemaker (_gods.favourite.burnout_ via Instagram)
For those of you not in America, 409 (also known as Formula 409) is an industrial cleaning product. So it probably doesn’t make your coffee taste great.
Queens Of The Stone Age – The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died (Tom via Facebook)
We’re very sorry to hear that.
Asking Alexandria – I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps A Cowboy King (still_a_freak39 via Instagram)
Given the track was released in 2009, it’d be real good to get confirmation about this one day, chaps.
Iron Maiden – The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (Colin via Facebook)
Running is healthy but too hard for us, so we can neither confirm or deny the accuracy of this song name *wheezes*.
Mushroomhead – Qwerty (jlaj13 via Instagram)
Okay, this is
weird, but it’s also easily the quickest song name to type out so far, so actually Mushroomhead are time-saving geniuses.
Pearl Jam – Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town (amie_gedman3 via Instagram)
A fantastic track, but not a name that screams ‘song by one of the biggest and most influential rock bands on the planet’, is it?
Don Broco – Manchester Super Reds No. 1 Fan (@feb_mum via Twitter)
See also: songs with the weirdest videos and promotional campaigns ever…
The Ramones – Every Time I Eat Vegetables It Makes Me Think Of You (@leebenecke via Twitter)
It’s fair to include this, but also feels weirdly sweet and complimentary? Just us…?! Okay then.
